Just Mercy
Orange Peels and Laughter
So I’ve been spending time with this family from Afghanistan.
I’m hesitant to talk about it, because I’m afraid it will sound like, “Look at me and all the good I’m doing!” Not gonna lie, there was a time before I jumped in to this adventure that might have been somewhat true. But the truth is?
The truth is I have way more fun hanging out with refugees than a happy hour with people from my same socioeconomic background. The truth is I love being with these new friends in my life from East Africa and the Middle East and at L’Arche because they know how to laugh. With them I don’t feel the need to be impressive or have my life together.
I was thinking about this as we celebrated Jean Vanier’s life a few weeks ago. Apparently he used to sit around the table at the end of the meal and throw orange peels at people, and this became a community tradition – to end the meal with orange peels and laughter.
“Little by little,” he said, “we became aware of what a cardinal in Rome told us, “You at L’Arche, you have achieved a Copernican revolution! Until now, it was said that we must do good to the poor, but at L’Arche you say that it is the poor who do you good!”
Jesus said, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I’ve found this is true – not just for those who are poor in these “obvious” ways but with those who struggle with anxiety, depression, painful loss – the list could go on.
The truth is, I need the “poor.” I need them to remind me of the truth of the world we are living in. I need their laughter, their resilience, and their generosity rooted out of common empathy and struggle. When my husband and I are stressed because we can’t find affordable housing, I need what the poor can teach me, who have walked this same road for decades. When instability gives me anxiety and I struggle against a mentality of scarcity, I need the way they teach me how to hold onto hope and community even in the midst of so much unknown.
And the more I feel this – the more I know and love the poor, and even join them in some of the maddening lines at DHS and DMV, the less I want to talk about “the poor.” More and more, what I want to do is just open the doors wide and invite everyone in and say, You all need to meet each other!
Maybe someday, I will.
“And the more my world started to expand at my periphery, the more it became clear that life was more beautiful and more terrible than I had been told.”
DL Mayfield
Stories from Tanzania
How can I explain what the last few weeks have been like?
In the month of February I had the privilege to meet local leaders who have become my heroes. I have been reminded of what it means to welcome and be welcomed; to value honor and hospitality; to life a life of service in ways both big and small. They humble me and teach me and inspire me.
A Letter to Myself
Note: I wrote this letter to myself in much earlier days of this blog, but never published it. I just came across it again today and felt it was time to share it with the world. Although it emerged in the midst of much personal wrestling and prayer, I hope it strikes a chord of resonance with you as well.
Dear you –
The one who is tired,
the one who sits there staring out the bus window,
wondering if she’s the one who has it all wrong.
The one who recognizes in herself the same criticism
the same jumping to conclusions
the same line-in-the-sand mentality
that frustrates her in others
and wonders how we ever heal from it all. Continue reading
I’m Not #Blessed
Lots of dear friends have been asking me what my biggest takeaways are from my time in Africa. In response, I feel lost for words, only able to come up with, “It just felt so..well…normal, and such an honor to be there.”
My fifteen year old self would have come away saying something like, “After seeing people with so little, I realized how blessed I truly am.” But this time, I thought back to the people I met who were rich in love, who knew how to laugh at themselves and stand tall with dignity, who were creative and kind and resourceful, and I just thought, “I wish you could meet them too.” Continue reading
Tanzania Dreamin’
I’ve heard so much about the beauty and magic of Africa. So when my work with Loom International gave me the opportunity to spend a week in Tanzania, I was excited to see it for the first time. Continue reading
Ministry Update: Looming Ahead
Hello friends! I have an exciting ministry update to share with you all! But first, a little context:
As some of you may know, in 2005 I went on a two-week missions trip that changed my life. That summer, my youth group partnered with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) to immerse ourselves in urban outreach. It was here that my heart was deeply stirred for the cause of the vulnerable and the marginalized, and I knew then I would spend the rest of my life seeking justice and compassion for the oppressed through my love of storytelling.
The next 4 years I spent a lot of Friday nights under the Burnside bridge, washing feet and handing out socks and sandwiches. I loved getting to meet people there and I began learning the power of relationships in changing hearts. However, I still was operating from a top-down mentality. What can I give you? How can I help you? Instead of, How can we work together?
We need them.
Happy June! This weekend Ben and I celebrated our fourth anniversary–crazy! In some ways it feels like we’ve been married for a while now, and in others it still feels like we’re just beginning this adventure together. I’m so thankful for his support and presence during this especially hard season–he has truly been amazing. Although I still have some up & down days, I’m also so thankful to be beginning to feel better, have more energy, and hopefully be on the upswing for good!
June started out with an exciting trip for us, as we traveled to Chicago to attend the Justice Conference, held at Willow Creek Community Church. We heard from many powerful leaders of faith during the two day event, and I thought I would share a little of what we’ve been processing afterwards with you.
In the past year or so, both Ben and I have begun to dramatically shift our thinking away from seeing injustice as an individualistic issue, to learning about systemic injustice and broken systems that perpetuate suffering for so many people. This past weekend really cemented our convictions that in order to really change communities and see justice long-term, we have to address these bigger realities. Our God is a God who goes after the one lost sheep, but who also gave himself to defeat evil universally. We find ourselves asking: How do we learn about the complexities these broken systems? What can we do to change them? How can we help without hurting? And how can we not neglect the needs of our neighbors individually as well?
Second, I was so inspired by the words of many speakers, reminding us that justice work is not about “helping” or “fixing” or any type of mentality that gives us the role of savior, coming in to save the day. I loved hearing Sandra Van Opstal share about vulnerable members of her congregation, and how she is inspired to seek justice because she realizes that she needs them. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Russell Moore:
“We do not need more ‘ministry’ to the poor or racial minorities or immigrant communities. We need to be led by the poor and racial ‘minorities,’ and by immigrant communities.
…The child with Down Syndrome on the fifth row from the back in your church, he’s not a ‘ministry project.’ He’s a future king of the universe. The immigrant woman…is not a problem to be solved. She’s a future queen of the cosmos, a joint-heir with Christ.
…No matter how important the United States is, there will come a day when [it] will no longer exist. But the sons & daughters of God will be revealed. Some of them are undocumented farm-workers and elementary school janitors right now. They will be kings and queens then. They are our brothers and sisters forever.”
May we continue to advocate for those on the margins, looking for ways to bring their voices to the table, because we need them.
And here we are.
That afternoon, I read the news about Aleppo.
I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. There are unsung heroes all over the world, just as there are in Aleppo, rescuing children and standing up to danger and carrying on despite the near-impossible conditions. Their strength and bravery humble me, and their suffering breaks me.
Hours later and worlds away, I’m standing in the checkout line with a pumpkin pie and can of whipped cream. We drive to the apartment, hoping they understood and are expecting us. From outside, we can see the light shining out through the curtain, casting shadows like crosses on the street below.
The door swings open seconds after we knock. Continue reading
A Prayer for Greatness
This week I’ve been thinking about love, about faith, about fear.
I’ve been thinking of the Letter from a Birmingham Jail. I’ve been meditating on Titus 3. I still have a lot of questions. And I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of words have already been spoken this week. What I need, what we all need, is not more words AT each other but WITH each other.
So here is my prayer. I’d love if you would join me in praying, or add a prayer of your own in the comments below!
Downwind of Grace 