The Journey Back

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Tomorrow we begin our journey back to America. It’s hard to believe that the months could fly by so fast! There is so much I want to write about– all that I’ve seen and learned, all that I’m taking with me, and all the wonderful people I’m leaving behind. It’s definitely a bittersweet ending, for sure. In the next few weeks, I’ll be taking now time to write about all of these things. In the meantime, I’ve got a lot to think about on my trans-Atlantic flight to the west coast! Thanks to everyone who has supported and encouraged us in these past three months. I can’t wait to tell you all more.

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“…on this journey together–

steps of faith each morning,

clasping memories close each night.

We carry so much with us,

still learning together

what we can let go of, let

the wind carry–

and what seeds to water in sacrifices and joys.”

Snapshots.

I’d like to start out this post by affirming that there are now two more very good reasons I don’t typically wear white/light colored pants. And those reasons are 1. Mexican food and 2. Mexican food.

On another note, here are a few snapshots from this past week:

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It has been a great week–full of challenges, hard work, late nights, laughter, beach trips, and perhaps a little too much cake. In some ways, it feels like we’ve been here forever; in others, like we’re only just getting started. It’s this strange mix of starting to be excited to bring all that I’ve learned back to “real life,” and yet wanting to hold onto these moments and never return.

I feel I could go on forever about all I have been learning this week–about myself, God, what it takes to make a ministry like this run, and how much I still have to learn about love. I’m reminded again of how challenges really are the things that sharpen us and bring us growth. All the things I would avoid if I could see them coming–all the uncomfortable tensions, the irritating situations, the stress or fear of the unknowns…these are the things that question my assumptions, that ask me what I’m really made of. My gut reactions say a lot more about my true theology than any good ideas. What is theology even about anyways, if it doesn’t affect the way we live?

In the midst of so much I wish that I was; in the midst of sorting through what I really believe; in the midst of all the times my hunger for love and acceptance comes clawing up unexpectedly, all I can say is how good it is to take a deep breath and meditate on Grace.

Grace in the eyes of my husband who consistently loves and cherishes me each day. Grace in the words of my teammates for the times I let an opportunity slip by. Grace in the hands and feet and love of Jesus, who never expected me to simply figure this out on my own.

Let my heart become a vessel in which this grace overflows.

What Does Justice Ask of Us? -More Than Just Putting Out Buckets.

Justice requires many things from us.

It requires that we be both warriors and mothers, advocates and givers. It asks for us to fight against wrong, to defend the vulnerable, to take proactive steps towards filling the cracks instead of just putting out buckets to catch the leaks.

It asks us to house the stranger and welcome the orphan, to live shockingly generous, hospitable lives–to walk the delicate tightrope between mercy and steadfast truth–in short, it asks from us more than we can give on our own.

To live “righteously” is to live rightly, to invest our time and resources into the things that matter. Yet without the Spirit, our hearts will become exhausted trying to measure up to an idea of perfection, rather than righteousness. Lately I’ve been thinking how justice has less to do with the letter of the law, and a whole lot more about the intent of the heart. If you look at the judges and kings who are the hero of a good story, immortalized in tales passed down through the generations, it was their creative wisdom that saved the day and accomplished what was ultimately just.

The more I ponder justice, the more I’m convinced it goes further than simply wanting laws enforced, evildoers jailed, clear division between right and wrong. Certainly, it involves these things. But could these actions, without love, be nothing more than vengeance?

When I say “love,” I also mean so much more than mere compassion and emotional sympathy. We may not always “feel” this love, this justice. I’m referencing a fierce love, a practical love, a self-emptying love. It’s a love that clings to truth because it knows that love separated from truth becomes a weak and shriveled love.

I want more than anything to learn how to live a life like this.

Our favorite things–take two!

There are so many things we have come to love about Dutch culture–and food! Aaandd, maybe a few things we won’t miss too much as well. Here are a few of our latest favorites:

1. Vla

Usually when I first explain vla to someone, the conversation goes like this:

Me: “Have you tried vla yet?”

Person #2: “Blah? What’s that? Sounds weird.”

Understandable, for sure. And in reality, vla is, well, pretty much as “blah” as you make it. It’s essentially a mild custard of a yogurt-like consistency. The most common flavors are chocolate and vanilla, but there actually are a whole lot more.

By itself, it’s actually not something that stands out of the crowd. We’ve learned that you can really put all sorts of crazy things on top of it though–including lemonade concentrate, fruit, chocolate or caramel syrup, and previously mentioned hagelslag. I’m not sure exactly what is a traditional “Dutch” way to eat it, and what is simply what people around us have decided tastes good. I have to say that, when matched with chocolate syrup and bananas, it definitely started to grow on me.

2. Cats. Everywhere.

One unfortunate aspect of having canals everywhere in your city is the prevalence of rodents. Or so we’ve been told. To remedy this, nearly every building in Amsterdam seems to have at least one cat slinking around. Cafes, clothing stores, homes–you name it, they’ve likely got one. Which means we have all sorts of fun and humorous encounters with furry fellows like these:

3. French fries count as a meal here.

Did we mention they eat them with mayo and curry sauce? Other options generally include garlic and some kind of soy/peanut sauce–along with the less popular ketchup and mustard.

4. Open air markets every weekend, and beyond.

I’m pretty sure with a little bit of strategy we could avoid entering a store for the rest of our lives here. Deodorant, makeup, clothing, socks, household gadgets, all kinds of food and accessories imaginable, fresh flowers, lingerie…well you get the picture.

Now for a couple of items that will never make it on this list:

1. Pickled herring.

We tried it to have the real Netherlands experience. We wanted to like it, we really did. Sadly…no.

2. Salted (sugarless) licorice.

The Netherlands is known for having really good licorice. I happen to love black licorice, so I was eager to finally try some. The first moral of the story, however, is that there is a time and place to stop your mad rush through the grocery store and actually use Google Translate once in a while. Then, maybe I would have ended up with “sweet and soft” licorice instead (which has actually turned out to be delicious). I have concluded that I will never acquire a taste for salted licorice–and that from now on I will always translate, at least when it comes to important things like candy.

I’ll wrap this up letting you know there’s a whole lot more going on here than just eating and shopping. 🙂 More thoughts to come–and hopefully soon!

Enter the interns.

I’m excited to write this post today and finally get to answer the many, many questions I’ve gotten throughout the past four months or more. Nearly all of them sounded exactly (and understandably) like this: “So, what will you be doing during your internship?”

My answer, until this week: “Honestly, I have no idea.”

However, I have now officially begun my internship and actually know what it will look like for the next month! Hooray! So for anyone who’s still awaiting a better answer to their question, this post is for you. 🙂

The rundown: Every week we’ll have the chance to participate in all staff meetings and corporate worship times. This will also include scheduled times of helping out around the base, whether that’s cleaning, admin work, laundry, or answering phones. In addition to this, the four of us have been asked to work on a few specific research projects, which will hopefully help the Lighthouse ministry build relationships with a deeper level of cultural understanding and sensitivity. Lastly, we will be participating in outreach three nights a week in various formats.

I’m really looking forward to all of the great experience our team will gain through this internship. Besides myself, there are three other beautiful ladies on my team as interns, and I’ve already been so blessed to work alongside and learn from them. It’s also going to be great spending more time with the Lighthouse staff, as they have so much knowledge and such beautiful hearts.

In the next few weeks, I’m hoping to keep you all updated on what’s going on here–but also add a little more insight into all that I am learning more personally as well. As always, if you have anything specific you’re just dying to know, any questions I can answer–just send them my way or comment below! Thank you all so much for your prayers during this time!

Four and More!

“If you’ve lived in a place for a week, you’ll write a book.

If you’ve lived in a place for a month, you’ll write an article.

If you’ve lived in a place for a year, you’ll realize you don’t have a clue.”

 

I heard this quote last week, and literally laughed out loud because of how ridiculously true it is in my life.

The longer I live in Europe, the longer I interact with different cultures and attempt to struggle my way through a new language, the longer I study a topic and interact with professionals who have dedicated their entire lives to this fight, the more I realize how little I really know. If you’ve noticed my blog posts getting a bit more sparse during the last month, I can’t just blame busy-ness alone. A huge part of my hesitation to write was this sense of…uncertainty. I suddenly began realizing the consequences of throwing knowledge and information carelessly into cyberspace when I’m in no way a professional.

I have, however, found another source of writing inspiration this week in the form of very unexpected blessings. Many of you know that after completing the Shine Seminar, I had planned to immediately jump into a 6-week internship here in Amsterdam. To my surprise, I found out two weeks ago that we would be given a week off in between these two–meaning we could travel! Ben and I scraped our pennies together and spent a lovely five days getting a little taste of Switzerland and Italy. What a dream!

With those additions, we’ve actually had the privilege of seeing five countries in the past four weeks–crazy!! For anyone who’s interested, I thought I would highlight our favorite parts of each experience and throw in a few photos as well. 🙂 Enjoy!

Norway

Since we didn’t know we’d have a whole week off later in the month, we took advantage of a three-day weekend to visit family up north. What a relaxing way to spend a few days. We loved meeting relatives, enjoying the beautiful view of the fjords, and seeing a few historical sights. I think Ben’s favorite part was definitely making Norwegian coffee up on the hillside, which involved among other ingredients a wood stove and juniper branch. I think we both would have loved to stay there for a month, hiking and camping our way through the beauty. One day we’ll be back!

Belgium

On a whim, we took a day trip to Antwerp, Belgium, which was only two hours from Amsterdam by train. Pretty much the only thing we spent our money on here was food–eating at the first waffle house in Antwerp, trying Belgian chocolates, and snacking on Belgian frites, or fries. We also loved wandering around the city, seeing old castles and stumbling into one of the most lovely cathedrals we’ve seen so far in Europe. Since we didn’t make it past the Dutch-speaking section of Belgium, we could still even use our few words of Dutch we’ve picked up so far to communicate.

Switzerland

Originally we had mourned the fact that we would be in Europe without a good opportunity to visit the Alps and bring Ben back to his Swiss-German roots. So when we found out we had the week off, we decided to stop over for a day on our way through to Italy. Surprisingly, we ended up seeing quite a bit in 24hrs! Our favorite part was definitely taking the train along Lake Geneva and up into the mountains to the top of Rochers de Naye. The views were even more incredible than we had anticipated., and we even got a free meal of Swiss cheese fondue along with our train ticket, which was amaaazing. That evening we explored the city of Geneva for a few hours, and headed to Venice the next morning.

Italy

It’s official: I was born in the wrong country. Already I have discovered what Ben is calling my “Italian soul,” and completely fell in love with this beautiful country. We spent four delightful days in Venice, walking the narrow streets, sitting along canals, and stopping for an espresso or scoop of gelato whenever we felt like it. Describing what it was like doesn’t’ even really feel like it can do it justice. So here are just a bunch of pictures to help you get a good idea!

Netherlands

Yes, this still counts as a country. 🙂 Mostly because, when we got back this weekend, we had the opportunity to explore some of the gorgeous farmlands and dikes by bike with some new friends. It was the day after Ascension (which is a national holiday weekend here), so we also enjoyed some traditional Dutch street foods and watched the town’s annual tug-of-war competition that evening. The small villages of the Netherlands are so different from Amsterdam, it really does feel like visiting another country in some (wonderful) ways. Here are a few photos from our bike ride, including a pull-it-yourself ferry across the canal!

Well, that’s all from us for now. I’m still getting my languages mixed up now and then, so I’ll just say…Dank u wel, grazi, takk, merci, ciao!

Six Weeks In Quotes

Sitting here in a cozy cafe on this cloudy Amsterdam morning, feeling so thankful. As I continue to wade through all that I have learned in these last six weeks, I thought I would simply share a few quotes that stood out to me personally. If you’re interested, take a look! In my next post, I’ll be highlighting more of what we’ve been up to for the past week as well.

Week One: Justice From a Biblical Perspective

“Heros are those who do what needs to be done, even though it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or nobody else is doing it.”

“Injustice is not a wrong against us. Ultimately, it is a wrong against God.”

“Hope is anchored in the character of God.”

“Do not be afraid of places of death. They are opportunities for resurrection and life.”

Week Two: Justice, The Sex Trade, and More…

“[What we need] is systematic, quiet, culture-based change. Long term comittment…and relationships are key.”

“Human trafficking is, at its roots, the exploitation of vulnerability.”

“Prostitution is the only legal job [in some countries] with non-profits created to help you get out…In the name of freedom, people are enslaved.”

Week Three: The Father Heart of God, Sexual Abuse, Addictions and the Brain

“The Gospel invites us into the depths, not into escape. We need to engage brokenness.”

“The core issue with our trauma is that it distorts our view of God, [and then our view of others and ourselves as well.]”

“The cross of Christ is so central to healing. To recieve life we must be willing to walk through death. Through the cross we can walk through pain and come out victorious.”

“Ultimately, what gives value to our work is the fact that it’s an expression of our love. We’re just giving back to God what He gave to us.”

“The biggest thing we have to offer people: the permanent goodness of God.”

Week Four: Perspectives–Networks, Politics, Law Enforcement, and Trauma

“Human Trafficking is an evil that will not leave quietly. It is an attack against the very image of God.”

“The biggest barrier to anti-trafficking work: lack of collaboration.”

“Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success.”

“To defeat a networked enemy, we had to become a network ourselves.”

Week Five: Mental Health, Media, and Survivor Stories
“Legalization commodifies a person. They not only become the provider of the good, but the good themselves…it creates a culture that grows abusers. The environment itself encourages it.”

“It’s not a coincidence that prositution draws on the most vulnerable population of a community.”

“How can you use the strengths of your culture to overcome its weaknesses?”

Week Six: Pioneering a New Ministry and Collaboration

“Always be sure to examine unintended consequences. Well-intentioned but uniformed work can be very damaging.”

In regards to directing hatred towards buyers and traffickers: “We can’t have selective compassion.”

“Are we seeking to create safer communities so that these things happen less?”

If you’re interested in hearing any more about what I’ve learned on these specific topics, I’d love to chat with you! It’s so hard to convey all that has changed in my heart and mind as a result of these sessions. My biggest prayer in these next five weeks will probably be, “God, now that I have learned and seen this, what would you like me to do with it?”

Wherever these next six weeks and beyond take me, I know one thing, however: I will enter them with a much larger perspective towards all sides of the issue, and a deeper heart to work with excellence and discernment.

Week Six!

Where has time gone?

Suddenly it’s week six, and I literally have four more days with some of the most amazing, Jesus-loving, justice-breathing people I’ve ever met. It’s been such a privilege to walk through life with these students and staff the past six weeks.

Confession: I am also exhausted and feeling ready for the end. Not in any sort of dramatic way, but the past six weeks have also been filled with a lot of hard-hitting information and a pretty busy schedule. I really look forward to moving out of the classroom and into a more hands-on role during the internship.

Since I haven’t written much lately, I thought I would just recap a few things I feel I’ve learned, and let you know what’s going on from here!

First off, the biggest thing I’ve learned during this seminar: it’s usually more complicated than we try to portray. Sometimes the line between trafficking and other methods of exploitation can be blurry. Sometimes it’s difficult to identify or rescue victims. Usually the recovery process is not quick, nor is it smooth or predicable. Additionally, trafficking looks different in literally every corner of the world. Culture plays such a huge role in both the problem and the solution. There are so many factors to consider before determining a certain approach will be a positive step for the situation we’re working in.

Yet, at the same time, this is also what I’ve learned: it’s often more simple than we make it out to be as well. Really, the root of both the problem and the solution comes down to identity. It comes down to idols. It comes down to relationships, and love–or lack of them. Time and time again, this has been what our entire discussion boils down to. Although I feel that I’m still processing this one, it has been interesting to hear such a common theme from so many speakers.

I know I’ll have a lot more detailed thoughts as I continue to look back over all that we’ve learned in the 150+ hours of teaching so far. However, I wanted to leave you with this broad overview tonight, as well as a few areas in which we would really appreciate prayer:

–For the entire team of staff and students as we finish up the week. Prayer that not only would we finish strong, but be able to transition well into the next phase and learn how to integrate this knowledge into our lives practically.

–For the few of us who are staying behind to do the internship. We would really appreciate prayer that God would be preparing our hearts for whatever we’ll be doing in the next 6 weeks.

–Continued prayer for the city of Amsterdam: its law enforcement, government officials, and for all who work here in the red light districts, bringing a message of hope and love.

 

Thank you all for your continued prayers! I’ll leave you with a few lines that have stayed with me throughout the past few weeks.

“God I look to You, I won’t be overwhelmed

Give me vision to see things like You do

God I look to You, You’re where my help comes from

Give me wisdom; You know just what to do.”

Thankful for…

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the smell of a wood fire and fresh-cut wood

beauty everywhere we look

tea in a gorgeous cafe with a new friend

evening walks along the canal

hard-hitting words that slip under my assumptions

grace for the days I just can’t get it right

waking up to sunshine and seagulls

the prayers and support of so many!!

Only about one week of the SHINE seminar left–such a crazy thought! Thank you all for all of your encouragement and prayers in the last five weeks. I look forward to continuing to share where God is taking us in the weeks to come.