Snapshots.

I’d like to start out this post by affirming that there are now two more very good reasons I don’t typically wear white/light colored pants. And those reasons are 1. Mexican food and 2. Mexican food.

On another note, here are a few snapshots from this past week:

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It has been a great week–full of challenges, hard work, late nights, laughter, beach trips, and perhaps a little too much cake. In some ways, it feels like we’ve been here forever; in others, like we’re only just getting started. It’s this strange mix of starting to be excited to bring all that I’ve learned back to “real life,” and yet wanting to hold onto these moments and never return.

I feel I could go on forever about all I have been learning this week–about myself, God, what it takes to make a ministry like this run, and how much I still have to learn about love. I’m reminded again of how challenges really are the things that sharpen us and bring us growth. All the things I would avoid if I could see them coming–all the uncomfortable tensions, the irritating situations, the stress or fear of the unknowns…these are the things that question my assumptions, that ask me what I’m really made of. My gut reactions say a lot more about my true theology than any good ideas. What is theology even about anyways, if it doesn’t affect the way we live?

In the midst of so much I wish that I was; in the midst of sorting through what I really believe; in the midst of all the times my hunger for love and acceptance comes clawing up unexpectedly, all I can say is how good it is to take a deep breath and meditate on Grace.

Grace in the eyes of my husband who consistently loves and cherishes me each day. Grace in the words of my teammates for the times I let an opportunity slip by. Grace in the hands and feet and love of Jesus, who never expected me to simply figure this out on my own.

Let my heart become a vessel in which this grace overflows.

What Does Justice Ask of Us? -More Than Just Putting Out Buckets.

Justice requires many things from us.

It requires that we be both warriors and mothers, advocates and givers. It asks for us to fight against wrong, to defend the vulnerable, to take proactive steps towards filling the cracks instead of just putting out buckets to catch the leaks.

It asks us to house the stranger and welcome the orphan, to live shockingly generous, hospitable lives–to walk the delicate tightrope between mercy and steadfast truth–in short, it asks from us more than we can give on our own.

To live “righteously” is to live rightly, to invest our time and resources into the things that matter. Yet without the Spirit, our hearts will become exhausted trying to measure up to an idea of perfection, rather than righteousness. Lately I’ve been thinking how justice has less to do with the letter of the law, and a whole lot more about the intent of the heart. If you look at the judges and kings who are the hero of a good story, immortalized in tales passed down through the generations, it was their creative wisdom that saved the day and accomplished what was ultimately just.

The more I ponder justice, the more I’m convinced it goes further than simply wanting laws enforced, evildoers jailed, clear division between right and wrong. Certainly, it involves these things. But could these actions, without love, be nothing more than vengeance?

When I say “love,” I also mean so much more than mere compassion and emotional sympathy. We may not always “feel” this love, this justice. I’m referencing a fierce love, a practical love, a self-emptying love. It’s a love that clings to truth because it knows that love separated from truth becomes a weak and shriveled love.

I want more than anything to learn how to live a life like this.

Four and More!

“If you’ve lived in a place for a week, you’ll write a book.

If you’ve lived in a place for a month, you’ll write an article.

If you’ve lived in a place for a year, you’ll realize you don’t have a clue.”

 

I heard this quote last week, and literally laughed out loud because of how ridiculously true it is in my life.

The longer I live in Europe, the longer I interact with different cultures and attempt to struggle my way through a new language, the longer I study a topic and interact with professionals who have dedicated their entire lives to this fight, the more I realize how little I really know. If you’ve noticed my blog posts getting a bit more sparse during the last month, I can’t just blame busy-ness alone. A huge part of my hesitation to write was this sense of…uncertainty. I suddenly began realizing the consequences of throwing knowledge and information carelessly into cyberspace when I’m in no way a professional.

I have, however, found another source of writing inspiration this week in the form of very unexpected blessings. Many of you know that after completing the Shine Seminar, I had planned to immediately jump into a 6-week internship here in Amsterdam. To my surprise, I found out two weeks ago that we would be given a week off in between these two–meaning we could travel! Ben and I scraped our pennies together and spent a lovely five days getting a little taste of Switzerland and Italy. What a dream!

With those additions, we’ve actually had the privilege of seeing five countries in the past four weeks–crazy!! For anyone who’s interested, I thought I would highlight our favorite parts of each experience and throw in a few photos as well. 🙂 Enjoy!

Norway

Since we didn’t know we’d have a whole week off later in the month, we took advantage of a three-day weekend to visit family up north. What a relaxing way to spend a few days. We loved meeting relatives, enjoying the beautiful view of the fjords, and seeing a few historical sights. I think Ben’s favorite part was definitely making Norwegian coffee up on the hillside, which involved among other ingredients a wood stove and juniper branch. I think we both would have loved to stay there for a month, hiking and camping our way through the beauty. One day we’ll be back!

Belgium

On a whim, we took a day trip to Antwerp, Belgium, which was only two hours from Amsterdam by train. Pretty much the only thing we spent our money on here was food–eating at the first waffle house in Antwerp, trying Belgian chocolates, and snacking on Belgian frites, or fries. We also loved wandering around the city, seeing old castles and stumbling into one of the most lovely cathedrals we’ve seen so far in Europe. Since we didn’t make it past the Dutch-speaking section of Belgium, we could still even use our few words of Dutch we’ve picked up so far to communicate.

Switzerland

Originally we had mourned the fact that we would be in Europe without a good opportunity to visit the Alps and bring Ben back to his Swiss-German roots. So when we found out we had the week off, we decided to stop over for a day on our way through to Italy. Surprisingly, we ended up seeing quite a bit in 24hrs! Our favorite part was definitely taking the train along Lake Geneva and up into the mountains to the top of Rochers de Naye. The views were even more incredible than we had anticipated., and we even got a free meal of Swiss cheese fondue along with our train ticket, which was amaaazing. That evening we explored the city of Geneva for a few hours, and headed to Venice the next morning.

Italy

It’s official: I was born in the wrong country. Already I have discovered what Ben is calling my “Italian soul,” and completely fell in love with this beautiful country. We spent four delightful days in Venice, walking the narrow streets, sitting along canals, and stopping for an espresso or scoop of gelato whenever we felt like it. Describing what it was like doesn’t’ even really feel like it can do it justice. So here are just a bunch of pictures to help you get a good idea!

Netherlands

Yes, this still counts as a country. 🙂 Mostly because, when we got back this weekend, we had the opportunity to explore some of the gorgeous farmlands and dikes by bike with some new friends. It was the day after Ascension (which is a national holiday weekend here), so we also enjoyed some traditional Dutch street foods and watched the town’s annual tug-of-war competition that evening. The small villages of the Netherlands are so different from Amsterdam, it really does feel like visiting another country in some (wonderful) ways. Here are a few photos from our bike ride, including a pull-it-yourself ferry across the canal!

Well, that’s all from us for now. I’m still getting my languages mixed up now and then, so I’ll just say…Dank u wel, grazi, takk, merci, ciao!

Six Weeks In Quotes

Sitting here in a cozy cafe on this cloudy Amsterdam morning, feeling so thankful. As I continue to wade through all that I have learned in these last six weeks, I thought I would simply share a few quotes that stood out to me personally. If you’re interested, take a look! In my next post, I’ll be highlighting more of what we’ve been up to for the past week as well.

Week One: Justice From a Biblical Perspective

“Heros are those who do what needs to be done, even though it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or nobody else is doing it.”

“Injustice is not a wrong against us. Ultimately, it is a wrong against God.”

“Hope is anchored in the character of God.”

“Do not be afraid of places of death. They are opportunities for resurrection and life.”

Week Two: Justice, The Sex Trade, and More…

“[What we need] is systematic, quiet, culture-based change. Long term comittment…and relationships are key.”

“Human trafficking is, at its roots, the exploitation of vulnerability.”

“Prostitution is the only legal job [in some countries] with non-profits created to help you get out…In the name of freedom, people are enslaved.”

Week Three: The Father Heart of God, Sexual Abuse, Addictions and the Brain

“The Gospel invites us into the depths, not into escape. We need to engage brokenness.”

“The core issue with our trauma is that it distorts our view of God, [and then our view of others and ourselves as well.]”

“The cross of Christ is so central to healing. To recieve life we must be willing to walk through death. Through the cross we can walk through pain and come out victorious.”

“Ultimately, what gives value to our work is the fact that it’s an expression of our love. We’re just giving back to God what He gave to us.”

“The biggest thing we have to offer people: the permanent goodness of God.”

Week Four: Perspectives–Networks, Politics, Law Enforcement, and Trauma

“Human Trafficking is an evil that will not leave quietly. It is an attack against the very image of God.”

“The biggest barrier to anti-trafficking work: lack of collaboration.”

“Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success.”

“To defeat a networked enemy, we had to become a network ourselves.”

Week Five: Mental Health, Media, and Survivor Stories
“Legalization commodifies a person. They not only become the provider of the good, but the good themselves…it creates a culture that grows abusers. The environment itself encourages it.”

“It’s not a coincidence that prositution draws on the most vulnerable population of a community.”

“How can you use the strengths of your culture to overcome its weaknesses?”

Week Six: Pioneering a New Ministry and Collaboration

“Always be sure to examine unintended consequences. Well-intentioned but uniformed work can be very damaging.”

In regards to directing hatred towards buyers and traffickers: “We can’t have selective compassion.”

“Are we seeking to create safer communities so that these things happen less?”

If you’re interested in hearing any more about what I’ve learned on these specific topics, I’d love to chat with you! It’s so hard to convey all that has changed in my heart and mind as a result of these sessions. My biggest prayer in these next five weeks will probably be, “God, now that I have learned and seen this, what would you like me to do with it?”

Wherever these next six weeks and beyond take me, I know one thing, however: I will enter them with a much larger perspective towards all sides of the issue, and a deeper heart to work with excellence and discernment.

Week Six!

Where has time gone?

Suddenly it’s week six, and I literally have four more days with some of the most amazing, Jesus-loving, justice-breathing people I’ve ever met. It’s been such a privilege to walk through life with these students and staff the past six weeks.

Confession: I am also exhausted and feeling ready for the end. Not in any sort of dramatic way, but the past six weeks have also been filled with a lot of hard-hitting information and a pretty busy schedule. I really look forward to moving out of the classroom and into a more hands-on role during the internship.

Since I haven’t written much lately, I thought I would just recap a few things I feel I’ve learned, and let you know what’s going on from here!

First off, the biggest thing I’ve learned during this seminar: it’s usually more complicated than we try to portray. Sometimes the line between trafficking and other methods of exploitation can be blurry. Sometimes it’s difficult to identify or rescue victims. Usually the recovery process is not quick, nor is it smooth or predicable. Additionally, trafficking looks different in literally every corner of the world. Culture plays such a huge role in both the problem and the solution. There are so many factors to consider before determining a certain approach will be a positive step for the situation we’re working in.

Yet, at the same time, this is also what I’ve learned: it’s often more simple than we make it out to be as well. Really, the root of both the problem and the solution comes down to identity. It comes down to idols. It comes down to relationships, and love–or lack of them. Time and time again, this has been what our entire discussion boils down to. Although I feel that I’m still processing this one, it has been interesting to hear such a common theme from so many speakers.

I know I’ll have a lot more detailed thoughts as I continue to look back over all that we’ve learned in the 150+ hours of teaching so far. However, I wanted to leave you with this broad overview tonight, as well as a few areas in which we would really appreciate prayer:

–For the entire team of staff and students as we finish up the week. Prayer that not only would we finish strong, but be able to transition well into the next phase and learn how to integrate this knowledge into our lives practically.

–For the few of us who are staying behind to do the internship. We would really appreciate prayer that God would be preparing our hearts for whatever we’ll be doing in the next 6 weeks.

–Continued prayer for the city of Amsterdam: its law enforcement, government officials, and for all who work here in the red light districts, bringing a message of hope and love.

 

Thank you all for your continued prayers! I’ll leave you with a few lines that have stayed with me throughout the past few weeks.

“God I look to You, I won’t be overwhelmed

Give me vision to see things like You do

God I look to You, You’re where my help comes from

Give me wisdom; You know just what to do.”

Thankful for…

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the smell of a wood fire and fresh-cut wood

beauty everywhere we look

tea in a gorgeous cafe with a new friend

evening walks along the canal

hard-hitting words that slip under my assumptions

grace for the days I just can’t get it right

waking up to sunshine and seagulls

the prayers and support of so many!!

Only about one week of the SHINE seminar left–such a crazy thought! Thank you all for all of your encouragement and prayers in the last five weeks. I look forward to continuing to share where God is taking us in the weeks to come.

Love Actually Will Win

Abuse. Trauma. Bondage. Violence. Pain. Fear.

This is the story of many who have suffered at the hands of traffickers. This is the story of many vulnerable and exploited people in the world, period.

Yet this is also the story of the Cross.

The story of the Cross is not the absence of pain or fear. We believe in a God who not only took on flesh, but bore our sins, our traumas, our violence upon His back. We surrender our hearts to a God who was “familiar with sorrows” and a friend of grief.

I think, as the Church, we can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable with this level of hurt. I know I am.  How do we engage those with stories of deep pain and trauma? What does faith, hope, and love look like when time has passed and the wounds haven’t seemed to heal? What do we say to the anger, the denial, the grief?

Sometimes it’s easy to forget the message of the Cross. Sometimes we get so eager to see the healing, the restoration, we want to skip the agony of walking through the valley of Saturday. We want to skip right to Sunday–right to the Resurrection–and celebrate new life.

As I reflect on the past five days of classes, I realize how quickly I want to look towards the solution–to seek out the happy ending. Yet the process of healing requires that we set aside our own timelines and agendas, and simply commit to someone with our presence. We must take the time to really listen to their stories; to walk the long road of anger, pain, and confusion; to invite them into a safe place where they can learn to truly grieve. In every aspect of trafficking intervention, I’m learning that often the best “solutions” are not quick or easy–they require a significant investment of time, resources, and emotion.

More specifically, they require Love.

Ultimately, what gives value to our work is the fact that it’s an expression of our love.

We’re just giving back to God what He gave to us. It is our love for Him and the beautiful people he created that transforms our work into a precious gift. He is the source of true love–a love that never minimizes sin, but more importantly never lets go. A love that sets aside what is convenient for us, or fits into our idea of “success,” and looks out for the good of others.

When it comes down to it, words alone will not resolve anything. An encounter with God’s love will change a heart forever.

The biggest thing we have to offer people is simply and wonderfully this: the permanent goodness of God.

Because really? Love actually will win. Someday justice will be done fully and completely. All will be made right. Beauty, Truth, Goodness–these are the qualities that will endure throughout eternity. Those who, amidst the tragedy and pain of our world, have chosen to believe God is, and he is still good–they will enjoy his goodness and beauty forever.

This is why we can walk through the grief of Saturdays.

This is what spurs us onward.

Over the cold pavement, a single flower bends near–whispering of the Resurrection to come.

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Why Hope Matters

Hope is the oxygen of life.

Without hope, we suffocate under the injustice and brokenness of life. It is the hope of justice, of goodness, and of a world made right that keeps us going when the world seems dark and, well…hopeless.

We need hope for our world–that even now we will get a glimpse of dead things being brought to life.

We need hope for ourselves–that we are not defined by our pasts, by our failures, or by the mistakes of generations that have gone before us.

Maybe most importantly when it comes to exploitation and abuse, we need to have genuine hope for others. When we meet with survivors, do we see them through a lens of hope and potential? Do we envision them fully healed, as they were created to be? Do we actually believe that they can find healing, find freedom, and begin a new life?

A wise woman reminded me this week that we reap the fruit of what we believe. We will become what we believe about ourselves. Often, those around us will also become what we believe they are, whether in a big or small way. Hope matters because it is only through hope that we can help others envision the future that God desires for them. Hope matters because unless we truly believe these women are more than just a victim, that they can become fully restored and live in freedom and joy, they will never be able to believe it for themselves. Hope matters because it is only through hope that transformation can occur.

Yet in a world so broken, in situations so full of darkness and evil, in a life where there is so much trauma and despair, how to do we hang on to a genuine hope? How do we go about believing for these women when to road to healing is long and uncertain? How do we remain faithful in hope when circumstances can sometimes point more strongly towards despair?

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:5

The only lasting place to find our hope is in the righteous love of our Father. He alone can be trusted to do what seems impossible, because we can trust the faithfulness of his love. The Spirit testifies with our spirit that God’s love is powerful–and His love will ultimately triumph. His love is the unshakable foundation, the bedrock of confidence, and the fountain of our hope. It is his love that transforms darkness into light, injustice into righteousness, and that will one day put the entire world right.

This week our team heard from many different speakers–politicians, policemen, non-profit leaders, law students, and women who have now left the sex industry. We also had the chance to take a prayer walk in one of the more isolated Red Light Districts. In each scenario it would have been easy to search for hope in the success stories or the effective models we heard about. It also could have been just as easy to despair over the numbers, the injustice, or the deep cultural change that needs to happen in order for sexual slavery to end. However, instead of reflecting on the specific stories today, I wanted to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of our truly unshakable hope.

Thank you all for your prayers! Continue prayer for health, the growth of new relationships, and a lovely blend of hope and discernment throughout everything we do would be so appreciated. Until next time!

Just Mercility

:Do Justly

:Love Mercy

:Walk Humbly

Some questions our class discussed today:

  • Do we love justice more than mercy? How do the two work together?
  • What does it look like to approach both with humility?
  • How do we stay focused on God’s justice and God’s mercy, instead of our own interpretations?

In reflection today I came up with the term “just mercility” to help my brain wrap around the interplay between all three. The tension between justice and mercy especially can be quite taut. Yet I feel like the two actually go together like the pedals of a bicycle. Without either, you will go nowhere–and end up feeling exhausted and off-balance.

It’s so easy to see love and mercy as opposed to truth and justice. Yet isn’t doing the truthful thing, the just thing, the holy thing, a big way we show love to each other? In all we do in justice work (which I would argue means in everything we do, period), shouldn’t we have the best interest of others and our communities at heart?

In the end, it’s hard to establish any of these three elements without the underlying foundation of relationship. Once we know someone, care for them, and have their well-being at heart, we are more eager for them to receive mercy–and in the process, justice.

We can talk about the concepts of “justice,” “mercy,” and “humility” all we want. A basic understanding of our theology behind each is certainly important. Yet perhaps, just like we do not fully know someone until we have spent a good deal of time together, we do not fully know the full expression of these terms until we have lived with them for some time, day in and day out. Until, as Job says, “I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.”

Or, as Paul had it, “Instead, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus, the Messiah”.

In Amsterdam!

Well friends, we made it! As I write this, I’m sitting in a very cute and comfy little room that we’ll call home for the next 3 months. It’s still hard to believe we’re really here, after thinking about this trip for so many months! Not being able to read any of the signs, labels, or menus will be a good reminder, however. Other things we’ve learned so far include how to not get run over by lightrail trains, cars, OR bicycles, and the fact that their grocery stores only accept cash (thank you mr. nice man who gave us 55 cents!). Thankfully the “locals” have been even more friendly and good-natured than we expected as we navigate an unfamiliar town and culture.

We’ve gotten a chance to settle in here a bit before the seminar starts in just a few hours. Ben has a nice little desk to work at, and I can already tell that I’m going to have a great time with the fellow students I’ve been meeting. Both of us are feeling so blessed to be here among people with this shared passion and to be living in a closer-knit community again. When we arrived to our room, with a little welcome note and snacks on the table, we felt so much like we were back in college again!

Another incredible blessing was the chance to visit two very good friends in England before arriving here in Amsterdam. Not only did we have a chance to get over our major jet-lag before moving on to Amsterdam, but it was wonderful to see them again and have a few adventures together in the process. Below are a few pictures from the week–you’ll notice that we had incredibly sunny and non-rainy weather almost every day! Unfortunately that strain of luck has run out in Amsterdam, meaning we are feeling right at home in a whole bunch of wind and rain. 🙂