just mercy

Prayer and Asking

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Want to have a peek into my brain this week?

You’re in luck 🙂 Today I felt like it was time to share some of the things I really just can’t get off my mind. Things that have become very important to me. Things involving lots of prayer and asking God for wisdom. So, if you’ve got a moment, take a look!

1. This Video: If it’s the only thing you get to today, please Watch Session Two of this great study! What an incredibly great and inspiring definition of living out justice. Ben and I watched this last night, and all I could think of is how perfectly he described everything I’ve been wrestling with this year.

2. If you haven’t yet heard, Amnesty International recently voted to decriminalize prostitution, arguing that it would better protect those involved. During my weeks at SHINE, we had tons of discussion about the sex trade vs. sex trafficking. Can they be separated? Should they be separated? What are the implications of each choice? I would encourage you to read this article for a good look at some of the reasons decriminalization is usually NOT a good option.

3. You may have seen this one floating around cyberspace this week…I have to admit this is where so much of the prayer has come in. How to even address such a systematic crime? It’s a lot easier to know what to do about these things in my own community. But I’ve seen enough of these articles coming through in the last six months to feel it’s important for us to start talking about more. I’ve been so encouraged to read Ann Voskamp’s posts on what pre-emptive love might look like for us as Christians.

4. And lastly, ethical shopping. If you’ve talked to me at all lately, you know it’s been a lot on our minds. How does the Bible’s command to “be generous to the poor” fit in here? As we’ve done some research in the past few weeks especially, here are some great resources we’ve found:

A fabulous article by my friend Molly: Ethics and Your Wardrobe (aka why should I even care about this??)

How to Start Shopping Ethically (And again, why? from End Slavery Now)

Let’s Be Fair

Micah Challenge: Great Resources #1 and #2

As I end this post, I realize reading a lot of these articles can make it very easy to despair. To feel like our small efforts will never overcome enormous and far-away issues. There are so many areas of injustice I haven’t even touched on here! So I wanted to end with this reminder from Isaiah 59.

Almost the entire chapter is full of disappointment and judgement because of the lack of justice found among the Israelites. “Therefore justice is far from us…we hope for light, and behold, darkness…justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away….Truth is lacking”. All these phrases can feel so real about our current world when we take a look at what’s really going on.

Now this isn’t good news, as vs. 15 tells us that “the Lord saw it, and it displeased him, that there was no justice.” We do have the responsibility to work towards justice as His people! But we don’t have to do it alone–look at vs 16:

“He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede, then his own arm brought him salvation, and his righteousness upheld him.”

And in vs. 19: “So they shall fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun; for he will come like a rushing stream, which the wind of the Lord drives.”

I just love this. When there is justice lacking, it definitely displeases God. But he’s not hindered by our failures, or by the fact that we as one person just can’t do it all. He will accomplish His ultimate goals, in His power. We don’t have to bear the weight of it on our shoulders, but simply join with Him as best as we can. Using our everyday, ordinary lives to display His glory.

Souvenirs

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“Pilgrims often journey to the ends of the earth in search of holy ground, only to find that they have never walked on anything else.” Scott Russell Sanders

Well my friends, we made it.

We’re “home”–back where everyone speaks our language, where we can enter public restrooms FOR FREE, where we can ask for a cup of ice water with our meal and not look like tourists. Where people smile when you enter a store, and come to take your order shockingly fast when you sit down in a restaurant.

We wandered through Safeway today, reveling in the thousands of options at our fingertips. We smile and wave when bikers give us the right of way. And above all, we keep reminding ourselves that Amsterdam really happened and we didn’t just wake up from a very, very long dream. 

Jet lag is still wearing off–I woke up this morning at 3:45 AM, craving noodles. And there are hundreds of photos to sort through and piles of laundry and so many blessings just sitting here at my fingertips. Grace, all of it. Each time I’m tempted to wish I was back in Europe, I stop for a breath, look around, and remember this too is holy ground. This too is a place I will encounter the weight of glory–in the warm sun on my toes, the faces I pass, the work we have returned to.

However, the more we look back on everything we’ve learned and experienced, we realize there was such great value in our time in Amsterdam as well. Together, Ben and I have come up with a list of attitudes or habits really appreciated during the past few months–ones we’d like to begin implementing ourselves in the coming months. Take a look if you’re curious:

1. Hospitality.

We have felt so welcomed into the homes of friends and new acquaintances, both in Amsterdam and while we traveled. I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through it all is that traveling doesn’t change you–but the people you meet just might. I’m challenged to look at my own life now that we’ve returned, and make sure I always leave space for spontaneous hospitality.

2. Living simply.

This is one we’ve already started working on in the past year–getting rid of stuff, only owning one car, etc. However, we’ve come home inspired to take even more steps in this direction. For example, if we lived three months without this stuff, how much of it do we really need? And “living simply” isn’t just about getting rid of things, but about protecting things that matter. Evening dinners outside, walks to the store, visiting our local farmer’s markets, and so much more.

3. Making time for beauty.

Buying fresh flowers. Lighting candles. Going to art museums and community concerts. Decorating with and wearing items I love. Making time and space for things I would normally consider luxuries–yet not as part of a luxurious lifestyle.

4. Investing in community.

In the past two years we’ve moved twice, switched churches, and then spent three months abroad. As of yet, we haven’t really invested deeply in any community outside of our circle of friends and family. Our goal for the coming years is to put in the effort to put down roots, without worrying about whether or not we’re staying in that community long-term. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m currently focused on how to incorporate a lifestyle of justice into my everyday life. And part of what I think this means is to really involve yourself in the lives of people around you.

Now that we’ve returned, the challenge will really be putting these goals into action. In the next few posts, I’ll continue to reflect on what we’ve learned in Amsterdam, and whatever challenges we run into as well! In the meantime, take a deep breath, look around you, and count three things you are thankful for. We really are standing on holy ground.

What Does Justice Ask of Us? -More Than Just Putting Out Buckets.

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Justice requires many things from us.

It requires that we be both warriors and mothers, advocates and givers. It asks for us to fight against wrong, to defend the vulnerable, to take proactive steps towards filling the cracks instead of just putting out buckets to catch the leaks.

It asks us to house the stranger and welcome the orphan, to live shockingly generous, hospitable lives–to walk the delicate tightrope between mercy and steadfast truth–in short, it asks from us more than we can give on our own.

To live “righteously” is to live rightly, to invest our time and resources into the things that matter. Yet without the Spirit, our hearts will become exhausted trying to measure up to an idea of perfection, rather than righteousness. Lately I’ve been thinking how justice has less to do with the letter of the law, and a whole lot more about the intent of the heart. If you look at the judges and kings who are the hero of a good story, immortalized in tales passed down through the generations, it was their creative wisdom that saved the day and accomplished what was ultimately just.

The more I ponder justice, the more I’m convinced it goes further than simply wanting laws enforced, evildoers jailed, clear division between right and wrong. Certainly, it involves these things. But could these actions, without love, be nothing more than vengeance?

When I say “love,” I also mean so much more than mere compassion and emotional sympathy. We may not always “feel” this love, this justice. I’m referencing a fierce love, a practical love, a self-emptying love. It’s a love that clings to truth because it knows that love separated from truth becomes a weak and shriveled love.

I want more than anything to learn how to live a life like this.

Love Actually Will Win

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Abuse. Trauma. Bondage. Violence. Pain. Fear.

This is the story of many who have suffered at the hands of traffickers. This is the story of many vulnerable and exploited people in the world, period.

Yet this is also the story of the Cross.

The story of the Cross is not the absence of pain or fear. We believe in a God who not only took on flesh, but bore our sins, our traumas, our violence upon His back. We surrender our hearts to a God who was “familiar with sorrows” and a friend of grief.

I think, as the Church, we can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable with this level of hurt. I know I am.  How do we engage those with stories of deep pain and trauma? What does faith, hope, and love look like when time has passed and the wounds haven’t seemed to heal? What do we say to the anger, the denial, the grief?

Sometimes it’s easy to forget the message of the Cross. Sometimes we get so eager to see the healing, the restoration, we want to skip the agony of walking through the valley of Saturday. We want to skip right to Sunday–right to the Resurrection–and celebrate new life.

As I reflect on the past five days of classes, I realize how quickly I want to look towards the solution–to seek out the happy ending. Yet the process of healing requires that we set aside our own timelines and agendas, and simply commit to someone with our presence. We must take the time to really listen to their stories; to walk the long road of anger, pain, and confusion; to invite them into a safe place where they can learn to truly grieve. In every aspect of trafficking intervention, I’m learning that often the best “solutions” are not quick or easy–they require a significant investment of time, resources, and emotion.

More specifically, they require Love.

Ultimately, what gives value to our work is the fact that it’s an expression of our love.

We’re just giving back to God what He gave to us. It is our love for Him and the beautiful people he created that transforms our work into a precious gift. He is the source of true love–a love that never minimizes sin, but more importantly never lets go. A love that sets aside what is convenient for us, or fits into our idea of “success,” and looks out for the good of others.

When it comes down to it, words alone will not resolve anything. An encounter with God’s love will change a heart forever.

The biggest thing we have to offer people is simply and wonderfully this: the permanent goodness of God.

Because really? Love actually will win. Someday justice will be done fully and completely. All will be made right. Beauty, Truth, Goodness–these are the qualities that will endure throughout eternity. Those who, amidst the tragedy and pain of our world, have chosen to believe God is, and he is still good–they will enjoy his goodness and beauty forever.

This is why we can walk through the grief of Saturdays.

This is what spurs us onward.

Over the cold pavement, a single flower bends near–whispering of the Resurrection to come.

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Just Mercility

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:Do Justly

:Love Mercy

:Walk Humbly

Some questions our class discussed today:

  • Do we love justice more than mercy? How do the two work together?
  • What does it look like to approach both with humility?
  • How do we stay focused on God’s justice and God’s mercy, instead of our own interpretations?

In reflection today I came up with the term “just mercility” to help my brain wrap around the interplay between all three. The tension between justice and mercy especially can be quite taut. Yet I feel like the two actually go together like the pedals of a bicycle. Without either, you will go nowhere–and end up feeling exhausted and off-balance.

It’s so easy to see love and mercy as opposed to truth and justice. Yet isn’t doing the truthful thing, the just thing, the holy thing, a big way we show love to each other? In all we do in justice work (which I would argue means in everything we do, period), shouldn’t we have the best interest of others and our communities at heart?

In the end, it’s hard to establish any of these three elements without the underlying foundation of relationship. Once we know someone, care for them, and have their well-being at heart, we are more eager for them to receive mercy–and in the process, justice.

We can talk about the concepts of “justice,” “mercy,” and “humility” all we want. A basic understanding of our theology behind each is certainly important. Yet perhaps, just like we do not fully know someone until we have spent a good deal of time together, we do not fully know the full expression of these terms until we have lived with them for some time, day in and day out. Until, as Job says, “I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.”

Or, as Paul had it, “Instead, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus, the Messiah”.

PACKING.

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Announcement: There are suitcases in my kitchen!!!

packing

This weekend we are finally starting packing, which I have been waiting for what seems like forever. In case you didn’t know this fun fact about me, I LOVE packing. And I especially love the going new places part of the deal.

I also just love the freedom that comes from living out ofa suitcase and having so much less stuff to deal with. Ben and I have worked hard this year at simplifying and getting rid of excess stuff laying around, but we’re still not even remotely close to the “everything I own fits in two suitcases” scenario. For one thing, we happen to love books and coffee mugs too much.

Probably the most difficult part of packing for most people, and also the part I most love, is that it forces you to make so many choices. For the average person I know, we can’t fit our entire wardrobe, or shoe collection, or library of books into a suitcase. We’re forced to choose–which books would I really read on this trip? How many pairs of shoes should I bring? Do I really need my computer AND my tablet?

In a way, it would be nice if occasionally we were called upon to make these kind of decisions with the rest of our lives as well. Ultimately, when we choose what to pack and what to leave behind, it’s a matter of priority. What do I value most? What do I find most necessary?

This week I want to take the time to “declutter”–to ask these questions of my own heart. To sweep away the to-do list long enough to remind myself what’s really important as we begin this journey–and whatI might have to leave behind.

Pray for pimps and johns.

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I debated whether or not I should post these thoughts today, as I realize it can be an extremely emotionally charged topic for some.

It also might not be something we talk about much, but that’s exactly why I felt I needed to start (or at least re-emphasize) this conversation. Especially in light of our upcoming adventure. I hope you will give me grace for any aspects of the topic I may have overlooked.

Friends, we need to pray for pimps and johns.

We really do. We can talk all day about the factors of sex trafficking–ending demand, recognizing victims, providing restorative healing. All of these factors are so important. Yet when we talk about the role of prayer in anti-trafficking work, we tend to focus exclusively on the victims. We talk about the men who buy and sell them as “the enemy.” I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve talked to someone about the realities of sex trafficking, and they’ve mentioned how tempting it is to want to take “those guys” down with a shotgun.

Yes, there are men in this world doing incredibly inhumane and cruel things to vulnerable women and children. Yes, they deserve justice–including conviction and prison time. Yes, we should do everything we can (legally) to frustrate their efforts to abuse and keep them from re-offending.

But they are not the enemy. Our true enemy is evil itself, the father of all lies.

If anyone reading this has been exploited by a pimp, or suffered at the hands of a john, I can’t even express how sorry I am that those things happened to you. In no way was any of it your fault. I hope you have been able to find help and healing from those traumatic experiences–if not, contact me and I know many people who would love to walk alongside you in that process.

I just hope through this article we are able to remember that simply because we choose to pray for these perpetrators, we are in no way excusing the evil they have done. We are instead choosing to see that the source of that evil begins way beyond them, and therefore the power to end it does too. Our best chance to end their abuse and exploitation is to take our case directly before the Father, who is more passionate about the cause of the vulnerable than we can possibly imagine.

In light of that, here are several key ways we can be praying for them:

  • For true repentance. First and foremost, we should mercifully plead with God to bring these offenders to repentance. The New Testament story of Saul comes to mind whenever I think about this one. He embodied the full spectrum of abusive power–and yet through God’s grace and genuine repentance he went on to become one of the most explosive forces for good the world had ever seen. We should be asking God to do the same for perpetrators, desiring to see them also brought to new life in Christ.
  • If they will not repent, for removal from positions of power. Because God has given us all free will, we know that not all perpetrators will repent. If their hearts are hardened, I believe it is entirely biblical to ask God to remove them from any positions of power, or any further opportunities to exploit–whether through a sudden change in circumstances, tragedy, legal conviction, or even death. The Psalms are full of passionate pleas for God to destroy the authority of evildoers. However, we must be cautious not to make these prayers vengefully, as God can be trusted to bring full justice in his way and his timing.
  • For their deeds to not carry on through future generations. We must continue to pray that boys and girls will not grow up seeing “pimping” as a synonym for “cool,” or think that it’s normal for men to buy sex from women and girls. We need to pray that violent and abusive relationships–especially against women and children–will not perpetuate in a cycle of brokenness.
  • For their victims to find hope and healing. I certainly don’t want to ignore the fact that the acts these offenders have committed caused trauma, shame, and a complex level of pain. Praying for both perpetrators and victims goes hand-in-hand, as their terrible and destructive choices have affected many lives.

Why Amsterdam?

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“The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown,

but longed for still,

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.”

-Maya Angelou

It is estimated that there are over 25,000 women working in prostitution in the Netherlands. Many of them are victims of human trafficking. Many of them can be found in the Red Light District of Amsterdam.

When I think of these beautiful women, sitting behind the windows while gawking tourists stroll past, it’s hard not to see the image of a caged bird in my mind. Something so beautiful, which normally represents an image of freedom and flight, is suddenly…trapped. Whether or not this woman is there by “choice,” I remember what one advocate asked me: “If this was her choice, then what were her options?” No woman grows up dreaming of a life like this.

It was the stories of these women who first captured my heart several years ago. Stories of women who had come for a better life, had been promised everything, and were then forced to sell their bodies on the streets. Stories of women who felt that this was their deserved place in society–after all, it was all they knew how to do. Stories of women so hopeless that, when given the chance to escape, they simply…stay.

Why Amsterdam? we sometimes get asked. We are all too well aware that sex trafficking and other forms of sexual injustice occur all over the globe. Here in Portland there are hundreds of women just like the women in Amsterdam–without freedom and without hope. So why fly halfway across the world to find more?

The best answer we can give is simply to say, these too are our sisters. Whether they are walking on 82nd Ave, or sitting in a window in Amsterdam, we want women across the globe to know that they are valuable. They are loved. They are worth it.

We fly out in five (!!) weeks, which seems ridiculously soon and, at the same time, a million years away. My biggest struggle right now is continuing to remember that this trip is not about me, has never been about me, and will never be about me. It’s exciting to think of travel, adventure, and new experiences. It’s actually embarrassing how excited I get about even just packing our suitcases. If you think of it, please pray for me in the coming weeks, and that my heart would be able to focus and prepare on serving instead of consuming, and loving deeply rather than simply just “having fun.”

Also, to read the full version of this post, head over to this awesome website here!

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No Secular Things

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And I don’t believe in secular things,

Just a world waiting to be redeemed.

All the earth is holy ground.

–Tenth Avenue North

 

Life after college raised a lot of questions for me.

Throughout school I had developed a lot of ideas about what kind of person I wanted to be, and what I felt life should look like. Then I faced the point where it was a lot harder to live it out than I thought it would be…and I realized why so many people settle for what I had considered mediocre lives.

It’s hard work getting up every day, and dedicating the best hours to a job you may not always love. It’s hard work getting up every day, and setting yourself aside to focus on the needs of others. It’s hard work denying yourself temporary pleasure to gain something that will one day be worth it, or investing in relationships with people that see life so differently than you.

In one way, nothing has changed–these challenges have always been present. Yet suddenly it felt like it was all up to me to get this right.

In the past year and a half, I have come to realize my strong tendency towards doing. It’s extremely difficult for me to feel as if I’m “wasting” my time, so I like to keep busy. But even more than that, I’ve come to realize how all of my beliefs about “secular” vs. “sacred” are much harder to live out than I may have thought.

I truly believe the condition of our hearts are much more important than the actions we do. At least, I believe this in my head. The trouble is, sometimes my heart overrides my head and starts to panic. This happened a lot when we were first married, and moved into a new community. It took a while for me to find a job, and even then I felt constantly guilty that I wasn’t involved in “ministry.” I felt that I would stand before God one day, and answer for all the time I was wasting. Yet at the same time, I would constantly remind my husband that his nine-to-five office job was just as important as any type of “ministry,” because what mattered more was how and why we worked. I truly believed this, but I was just beginning to realize how hard that can be to actually live out.

I don’t like this idea that pastors and non-profit workers are doing ministry, while the rest of us are not. A lot of people have been writing books and articles about this subject and have opened up a great discussion on this point. Yet I still couldn’t shake this pressure I had put on myself, this panicky need to “get involved.”

In the end, I did get involved in a wonderful organization that I am still volunteering with today. There are so many needs in the world, in our communities, and I do think it’s important that we are generous with our time in these ways. What I need to remember, however, is that I’m not doing these things to make God happy. He’s not looking down at our schedules with disappointment if we’re not committed to five different non-profit organizations. He cares so much more about the condition of our hearts.

When our hearts are right before God, we’re looking for ways to serve others. Maybe you don’t volunteer with any organization, but you’re getting to know your neighbors or coworkers. Are you looking for ways to do good, meet needs, and give yourself and your resources generously in order to bring glory to our generous God? Then you are doing ministry.

Maybe you have a “secular” hobby, such as running, baking, hiking, or watching sci-fi movies. These are opportunities to build relationships in a way that honors our relational God. Maybe you spend most of your spare time doing housework or yardwork. Ask God to help you do this work in such a way that it points clearly to his goodness and beauty.

The biggest secret I have found in seeing the world as holy ground is this: pay attention.

Notice the person who rings up your groceries, the man digging through the trash behind your office building, the small child waiting at the bus stop. Stop a moment in your busy life, and show them that they matter.

Notice the coworker who seems discouraged, the neighbor who could use some help weeding the lawn, the friend who might need a chance to speak and really be heard. See them. Engage them. Offer to meet that need.

This is doing justice: trying to do rightly by everyone we meet, and give generously the resources we have in turn been given. This is doing justice: to honestly admit our own failures and limitations, and trust in the power of a God who can take our small loaves and multiply them into thousands.

This is justice: to show genuine value and generosity to others, not because we feel guilty or are trying to make God happy, but because we desire to treat them as well as God has treated us.

We’re Going to Amsterdam!

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2014-12-08

Ben and I are so excited to share our news with you today!

This summer we began the process of applying for a three-month internship in Amsterdam with YWAM (Youth With A Mission), without really knowing if it would even come together. We were thrilled to find out several months ago that not only were we accepted, but Ben’s work agreed to let him work remotely–as in, work from Amsterdam! Since then, everything has begun to fall into place, and we can’t wait to head there in the end of March.

While in Amsterdam, we’ll both be living on the YWAM base and part of the community there. Jenna will be attending a six-week seminar called SHINE, which focuses on the global sex trade and the Christian response. She will then spend the next six weeks in an internship with YWAM’s Lighthouse Ministry, which builds relationships and shares Christ’s love with women in the Red Light District.

We don’t know too much more yet about what that will look like specifically, but the details are beginning to come together more and more every month. If you have any questions or would like to talk about it more with us, we’d love to share what we know!

A lot of people have begun asking us about fundraising, and whether we will be asking for support. We’re excited to say that no, we won’t need to do any fundraiser for this trip, as Ben will be working and still earning a regular salary. However, the Lighthouse staff and ministry have several needs that they have given me permission to share with anyone interested. If you would like to donate towards these needs instead, let me (Jenna) know and I would be happy to get that information to you! They have such a heart for the Lord, and we’re excited to serve and bless them as well as the city of Amsterdam.

We’ll be continuing to post updates, prayer requests, and other info here as it gets closer! Stay tuned!