Love Actually Will Win

Abuse. Trauma. Bondage. Violence. Pain. Fear.

This is the story of many who have suffered at the hands of traffickers. This is the story of many vulnerable and exploited people in the world, period.

Yet this is also the story of the Cross.

The story of the Cross is not the absence of pain or fear. We believe in a God who not only took on flesh, but bore our sins, our traumas, our violence upon His back. We surrender our hearts to a God who was “familiar with sorrows” and a friend of grief.

I think, as the Church, we can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable with this level of hurt. I know I am.  How do we engage those with stories of deep pain and trauma? What does faith, hope, and love look like when time has passed and the wounds haven’t seemed to heal? What do we say to the anger, the denial, the grief?

Sometimes it’s easy to forget the message of the Cross. Sometimes we get so eager to see the healing, the restoration, we want to skip the agony of walking through the valley of Saturday. We want to skip right to Sunday–right to the Resurrection–and celebrate new life.

As I reflect on the past five days of classes, I realize how quickly I want to look towards the solution–to seek out the happy ending. Yet the process of healing requires that we set aside our own timelines and agendas, and simply commit to someone with our presence. We must take the time to really listen to their stories; to walk the long road of anger, pain, and confusion; to invite them into a safe place where they can learn to truly grieve. In every aspect of trafficking intervention, I’m learning that often the best “solutions” are not quick or easy–they require a significant investment of time, resources, and emotion.

More specifically, they require Love.

Ultimately, what gives value to our work is the fact that it’s an expression of our love.

We’re just giving back to God what He gave to us. It is our love for Him and the beautiful people he created that transforms our work into a precious gift. He is the source of true love–a love that never minimizes sin, but more importantly never lets go. A love that sets aside what is convenient for us, or fits into our idea of “success,” and looks out for the good of others.

When it comes down to it, words alone will not resolve anything. An encounter with God’s love will change a heart forever.

The biggest thing we have to offer people is simply and wonderfully this: the permanent goodness of God.

Because really? Love actually will win. Someday justice will be done fully and completely. All will be made right. Beauty, Truth, Goodness–these are the qualities that will endure throughout eternity. Those who, amidst the tragedy and pain of our world, have chosen to believe God is, and he is still good–they will enjoy his goodness and beauty forever.

This is why we can walk through the grief of Saturdays.

This is what spurs us onward.

Over the cold pavement, a single flower bends near–whispering of the Resurrection to come.

IMG_20150420_170300775_HDR

A Few of Our Favorite Things

Hi everyone!

Whew, this week has been intense. We’ve spent the last three days diving deep into abuse, addiction, and trauma–and grappling with our own brokenness in the midst of our desire to see others healed. It’s been such a blessing and I can’t wait to share more about it in the next week or so, once I have the chance to process everything a bit more. In the meantime, I wanted to share some of the little things that have brought us joy in the past few weeks, and give you a taste of life here beyond the heart-rending stories. So, without further ado, here are some of our favorite things about Amsterdam!

1. Hagelslag

sprinkles

Also known as sprinkles, I love eating this with nutella on my toast every morning! It’s like having dessert for breakfast! If nothing else, these get me out of bed every time.

2. Stroopwaffle McFlurries

11141118_10206180995669623_2204928072899056683_n

I can’t even describe how good these carmelly-crunchy bits of deliciousness are in vanilla ice cream. I think Ben would eat one every day if they weren’t such a long walk away.

3. Pesto-infused gouda

pestogouda

It looks weird and green, but don’t be deceived. I personally think this would take pizza to a whole new level.

4. Fresh flower markets on nearly every corner

IMG_20150405_143125095_HDR

5. Sunsets over the canals & evening city lights

IMG_20150412_204639

6. Separate bike paths–even in the countryside!

IMG_20150412_140518IMG_20150412_145919

7. Birds that are so friendly it’s almost frightening. This guy walked right up to say hello!

IMG_20150412_110613109

8. Coffee/tea break every mid-morning.

IMG_20150416_222526

When my stomach starts grumbling an hour or so after breakfast, I’m always so glad that I can look forward to tea and some Dutch cookies before lunch! But tea and coffee aren’t just for morning here–I’ve counted that on average a drink 5-6 cups of tea a day. Even more lately, as I’ve had a bit of a sore throat.

9. Dutch Staircases

vondel-view-b-b

(I see them as a personal challenge. Actually, I’ve found that some are easier to jump down the last half rather than navigate their thin winding stairs.)

10. Being amidst so many cultures. Not only is our class made up of at least 12 or 13 nationalities, but the city of Amsterdam is filled with people from every region of the world. Which means there is also amazing, authentic food from pretty much anywhere to be found here. 🙂

IMG_20150411_135450

(just a fun little reminder we found this weekend)

So, there you have it! A bit more insight into all of the wonderful things we are enjoying here. I could go on to tell you some of the things that aren’t my favorite, such as finding marijuana joints in the drinking fountains…but I will stop here. More thoughts coming soon!

Why Hope Matters

Hope is the oxygen of life.

Without hope, we suffocate under the injustice and brokenness of life. It is the hope of justice, of goodness, and of a world made right that keeps us going when the world seems dark and, well…hopeless.

We need hope for our world–that even now we will get a glimpse of dead things being brought to life.

We need hope for ourselves–that we are not defined by our pasts, by our failures, or by the mistakes of generations that have gone before us.

Maybe most importantly when it comes to exploitation and abuse, we need to have genuine hope for others. When we meet with survivors, do we see them through a lens of hope and potential? Do we envision them fully healed, as they were created to be? Do we actually believe that they can find healing, find freedom, and begin a new life?

A wise woman reminded me this week that we reap the fruit of what we believe. We will become what we believe about ourselves. Often, those around us will also become what we believe they are, whether in a big or small way. Hope matters because it is only through hope that we can help others envision the future that God desires for them. Hope matters because unless we truly believe these women are more than just a victim, that they can become fully restored and live in freedom and joy, they will never be able to believe it for themselves. Hope matters because it is only through hope that transformation can occur.

Yet in a world so broken, in situations so full of darkness and evil, in a life where there is so much trauma and despair, how to do we hang on to a genuine hope? How do we go about believing for these women when to road to healing is long and uncertain? How do we remain faithful in hope when circumstances can sometimes point more strongly towards despair?

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:5

The only lasting place to find our hope is in the righteous love of our Father. He alone can be trusted to do what seems impossible, because we can trust the faithfulness of his love. The Spirit testifies with our spirit that God’s love is powerful–and His love will ultimately triumph. His love is the unshakable foundation, the bedrock of confidence, and the fountain of our hope. It is his love that transforms darkness into light, injustice into righteousness, and that will one day put the entire world right.

This week our team heard from many different speakers–politicians, policemen, non-profit leaders, law students, and women who have now left the sex industry. We also had the chance to take a prayer walk in one of the more isolated Red Light Districts. In each scenario it would have been easy to search for hope in the success stories or the effective models we heard about. It also could have been just as easy to despair over the numbers, the injustice, or the deep cultural change that needs to happen in order for sexual slavery to end. However, instead of reflecting on the specific stories today, I wanted to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of our truly unshakable hope.

Thank you all for your prayers! Continue prayer for health, the growth of new relationships, and a lovely blend of hope and discernment throughout everything we do would be so appreciated. Until next time!

Just Mercility

:Do Justly

:Love Mercy

:Walk Humbly

Some questions our class discussed today:

  • Do we love justice more than mercy? How do the two work together?
  • What does it look like to approach both with humility?
  • How do we stay focused on God’s justice and God’s mercy, instead of our own interpretations?

In reflection today I came up with the term “just mercility” to help my brain wrap around the interplay between all three. The tension between justice and mercy especially can be quite taut. Yet I feel like the two actually go together like the pedals of a bicycle. Without either, you will go nowhere–and end up feeling exhausted and off-balance.

It’s so easy to see love and mercy as opposed to truth and justice. Yet isn’t doing the truthful thing, the just thing, the holy thing, a big way we show love to each other? In all we do in justice work (which I would argue means in everything we do, period), shouldn’t we have the best interest of others and our communities at heart?

In the end, it’s hard to establish any of these three elements without the underlying foundation of relationship. Once we know someone, care for them, and have their well-being at heart, we are more eager for them to receive mercy–and in the process, justice.

We can talk about the concepts of “justice,” “mercy,” and “humility” all we want. A basic understanding of our theology behind each is certainly important. Yet perhaps, just like we do not fully know someone until we have spent a good deal of time together, we do not fully know the full expression of these terms until we have lived with them for some time, day in and day out. Until, as Job says, “I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.”

Or, as Paul had it, “Instead, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus, the Messiah”.

One Week in Amsterdam

“Love is come again, like wheat that springs up green.”

The square we visited for Easter Sunday

Happy Easter everyone!

It’s hard to believe that we’ve only been in this beautiful city a week now. We have seen so much, learned so much, and met so many amazing people. We have walked countless cobblestone streets, seen more delicious pies than we could possibly consume, eaten a LOT of bread and cheese, and heard a lot of heartbreaking stories as well. But my heart is hopeful for the  city of Amsterdam, as we have already heard many stories of restoration as well.

This week we spent the majority of our class sessions discussing a foundational theology of justice, and focusing on personal (especially spiritual/emotional) health. It’s true that “hurting people hurt people,” and I personally have come away with a greater sense of the important role my health plays in the healing of others. We’ve also been learning a bit more about the specific situation here in Amsterdam–their three main red light districts, what ministries are already here, an overview of human trafficking globally, etc. It’s interesting to me that although Amsterdam’s Red Light District is often described as a place where Dutch women willingly choose to work, there are only a few Dutch women among the hundreds of women represented here.

In the coming weeks we’ll be continuing to learn so much–we have a schedule packed full of speakers who come from many different organizations and backgrounds. Emotionally, I think it may be difficult to be so immersed in a subject that at times can seem so dark. Yet today as we celebrate the Resurrection, I am reminded once again of our beautiful God who brings life out of death, new green growth out of the dark, heavy earth. Our God is a good, trustworthy, and absolutely limitless God. Only this firm foundation can bring us all through the next five weeks with hope, joy, and compassion for all those involved in the buying and selling of human beings.

Thank you all so much for your prayers so far! I have seen them make a huge difference as we begin the seminar. Please continue to pray for our team as we walk through these next five weeks. Prayers for Ben and I are always appreciated as well, as we continue to ask God what role he wants us to play in this work. And of course, pray for the city of Amsterdam–that the brothels and many other places would continue to be redeemed, one cafe and cheese shop at a time!

I’ll finish off this post with a few photos from the week. 🙂 Tot ziens!

Beloved In Amsterdam

IMG_20150330_162143931_HDR

“Your thoughts define me

You’re inside me

You’re my reality

Abba, I belong to You…”

This week a fellow student asked me, “How do you feel God speaks to you?” While I could give a very long answer to that question, as I was pondering it later I realized one big way I often feel Him speak is through repetition. When I hear topics come up several times in different contexts, I know I’d better start paying attention.

It’s amazing how God has woven the theme of Beloved into my life in the past year. I know it is no accident that it has come up time and time again. Especially during the seasons when I have let myself give into doubt and forget Whose I am.

This week has certainly been one of those times. I arrived full of excitement and have certainly not been disappointed. The staff are incredible, students are full of passion and love for God, and the city is even more beautiful and charming than I had imagined. Yet underneath it all was this strange current of self-doubt, discouragement, and fear. At odd times it would come bubbling to the surface in haunting questions like, What do I really have to offer here? I’ve worried that I have no business speaking to these women when I have no way to relate to what they’ve been through. I’ve wasted way too many minutes worrying about what the other students think of me as well. And I’ve let my need for further spiritual and emotional maturity mentally disqualify me until I could come into this ministry less broken and just feeling more, well…put together.

Lies, all of it.

Graciously, God gave me about a million reminders of that this week. When I talk about repetition here, let’s just say I couldn’t escape it if I tried. Church sermons, worship songs, introductory prayers, session topics…all centered around our identity as beloved children of God. All centered around the truth that we need nothing except the Creator of the Universe inside of us to be qualified. All centered around Him.

I’m so thankful to have this chance to walk out my identity as the Beloved in an arena where I feel so personally unprepared and inadequate. In a way, I’m so thankful to have made this commitment to do something that (when I’m perfectly honest) sometimes terrifies me. It’s a chance to take a deep breath, remind myself of the all-sufficiency of Christ, and make the decision to be brave. Every day I am reminded of this choice–especially when it is so tempting to simply trust in my own strength, and only sign up for what I feel personally prepared to handle. But I know that the Spirit living in me is greater than he who lives in the world. I know nothing can change the fact that God has chosen to call me Beloved. I know there is a reality bigger than me and my own fears and insecurities.

In the coming weeks, I would really appreciate prayers for our whole team as we fight against any discouragement or doubts that come our way. Soon we will begin hands-on outreach in several Red Light Districts in town, as well as our daily encounters with the knowledge of sex trafficking, and even just running up against our own brokenness. Pray that we can stand firmly in our identities as children of God! And please continue to pray for this city, which I am already coming to love so much. This crazy mix of beautiful and broken actually brings me so much hope for what this city could be.

In Amsterdam!

Well friends, we made it! As I write this, I’m sitting in a very cute and comfy little room that we’ll call home for the next 3 months. It’s still hard to believe we’re really here, after thinking about this trip for so many months! Not being able to read any of the signs, labels, or menus will be a good reminder, however. Other things we’ve learned so far include how to not get run over by lightrail trains, cars, OR bicycles, and the fact that their grocery stores only accept cash (thank you mr. nice man who gave us 55 cents!). Thankfully the “locals” have been even more friendly and good-natured than we expected as we navigate an unfamiliar town and culture.

We’ve gotten a chance to settle in here a bit before the seminar starts in just a few hours. Ben has a nice little desk to work at, and I can already tell that I’m going to have a great time with the fellow students I’ve been meeting. Both of us are feeling so blessed to be here among people with this shared passion and to be living in a closer-knit community again. When we arrived to our room, with a little welcome note and snacks on the table, we felt so much like we were back in college again!

Another incredible blessing was the chance to visit two very good friends in England before arriving here in Amsterdam. Not only did we have a chance to get over our major jet-lag before moving on to Amsterdam, but it was wonderful to see them again and have a few adventures together in the process. Below are a few pictures from the week–you’ll notice that we had incredibly sunny and non-rainy weather almost every day! Unfortunately that strain of luck has run out in Amsterdam, meaning we are feeling right at home in a whole bunch of wind and rain. 🙂

PACKING.

Announcement: There are suitcases in my kitchen!!!

packing

This weekend we are finally starting packing, which I have been waiting for what seems like forever. In case you didn’t know this fun fact about me, I LOVE packing. And I especially love the going new places part of the deal.

I also just love the freedom that comes from living out ofa suitcase and having so much less stuff to deal with. Ben and I have worked hard this year at simplifying and getting rid of excess stuff laying around, but we’re still not even remotely close to the “everything I own fits in two suitcases” scenario. For one thing, we happen to love books and coffee mugs too much.

Probably the most difficult part of packing for most people, and also the part I most love, is that it forces you to make so many choices. For the average person I know, we can’t fit our entire wardrobe, or shoe collection, or library of books into a suitcase. We’re forced to choose–which books would I really read on this trip? How many pairs of shoes should I bring? Do I really need my computer AND my tablet?

In a way, it would be nice if occasionally we were called upon to make these kind of decisions with the rest of our lives as well. Ultimately, when we choose what to pack and what to leave behind, it’s a matter of priority. What do I value most? What do I find most necessary?

This week I want to take the time to “declutter”–to ask these questions of my own heart. To sweep away the to-do list long enough to remind myself what’s really important as we begin this journey–and whatI might have to leave behind.

Pray for pimps and johns.

I debated whether or not I should post these thoughts today, as I realize it can be an extremely emotionally charged topic for some.

It also might not be something we talk about much, but that’s exactly why I felt I needed to start (or at least re-emphasize) this conversation. Especially in light of our upcoming adventure. I hope you will give me grace for any aspects of the topic I may have overlooked.

Friends, we need to pray for pimps and johns.

We really do. We can talk all day about the factors of sex trafficking–ending demand, recognizing victims, providing restorative healing. All of these factors are so important. Yet when we talk about the role of prayer in anti-trafficking work, we tend to focus exclusively on the victims. We talk about the men who buy and sell them as “the enemy.” I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve talked to someone about the realities of sex trafficking, and they’ve mentioned how tempting it is to want to take “those guys” down with a shotgun.

Yes, there are men in this world doing incredibly inhumane and cruel things to vulnerable women and children. Yes, they deserve justice–including conviction and prison time. Yes, we should do everything we can (legally) to frustrate their efforts to abuse and keep them from re-offending.

But they are not the enemy. Our true enemy is evil itself, the father of all lies.

If anyone reading this has been exploited by a pimp, or suffered at the hands of a john, I can’t even express how sorry I am that those things happened to you. In no way was any of it your fault. I hope you have been able to find help and healing from those traumatic experiences–if not, contact me and I know many people who would love to walk alongside you in that process.

I just hope through this article we are able to remember that simply because we choose to pray for these perpetrators, we are in no way excusing the evil they have done. We are instead choosing to see that the source of that evil begins way beyond them, and therefore the power to end it does too. Our best chance to end their abuse and exploitation is to take our case directly before the Father, who is more passionate about the cause of the vulnerable than we can possibly imagine.

In light of that, here are several key ways we can be praying for them:

  • For true repentance. First and foremost, we should mercifully plead with God to bring these offenders to repentance. The New Testament story of Saul comes to mind whenever I think about this one. He embodied the full spectrum of abusive power–and yet through God’s grace and genuine repentance he went on to become one of the most explosive forces for good the world had ever seen. We should be asking God to do the same for perpetrators, desiring to see them also brought to new life in Christ.
  • If they will not repent, for removal from positions of power. Because God has given us all free will, we know that not all perpetrators will repent. If their hearts are hardened, I believe it is entirely biblical to ask God to remove them from any positions of power, or any further opportunities to exploit–whether through a sudden change in circumstances, tragedy, legal conviction, or even death. The Psalms are full of passionate pleas for God to destroy the authority of evildoers. However, we must be cautious not to make these prayers vengefully, as God can be trusted to bring full justice in his way and his timing.
  • For their deeds to not carry on through future generations. We must continue to pray that boys and girls will not grow up seeing “pimping” as a synonym for “cool,” or think that it’s normal for men to buy sex from women and girls. We need to pray that violent and abusive relationships–especially against women and children–will not perpetuate in a cycle of brokenness.
  • For their victims to find hope and healing. I certainly don’t want to ignore the fact that the acts these offenders have committed caused trauma, shame, and a complex level of pain. Praying for both perpetrators and victims goes hand-in-hand, as their terrible and destructive choices have affected many lives.

Why Amsterdam?

“The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown,

but longed for still,

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.”

-Maya Angelou

It is estimated that there are over 25,000 women working in prostitution in the Netherlands. Many of them are victims of human trafficking. Many of them can be found in the Red Light District of Amsterdam.

When I think of these beautiful women, sitting behind the windows while gawking tourists stroll past, it’s hard not to see the image of a caged bird in my mind. Something so beautiful, which normally represents an image of freedom and flight, is suddenly…trapped. Whether or not this woman is there by “choice,” I remember what one advocate asked me: “If this was her choice, then what were her options?” No woman grows up dreaming of a life like this.

It was the stories of these women who first captured my heart several years ago. Stories of women who had come for a better life, had been promised everything, and were then forced to sell their bodies on the streets. Stories of women who felt that this was their deserved place in society–after all, it was all they knew how to do. Stories of women so hopeless that, when given the chance to escape, they simply…stay.

Why Amsterdam? we sometimes get asked. We are all too well aware that sex trafficking and other forms of sexual injustice occur all over the globe. Here in Portland there are hundreds of women just like the women in Amsterdam–without freedom and without hope. So why fly halfway across the world to find more?

The best answer we can give is simply to say, these too are our sisters. Whether they are walking on 82nd Ave, or sitting in a window in Amsterdam, we want women across the globe to know that they are valuable. They are loved. They are worth it.

We fly out in five (!!) weeks, which seems ridiculously soon and, at the same time, a million years away. My biggest struggle right now is continuing to remember that this trip is not about me, has never been about me, and will never be about me. It’s exciting to think of travel, adventure, and new experiences. It’s actually embarrassing how excited I get about even just packing our suitcases. If you think of it, please pray for me in the coming weeks, and that my heart would be able to focus and prepare on serving instead of consuming, and loving deeply rather than simply just “having fun.”

Also, to read the full version of this post, head over to this awesome website here!

100_2064

100_2052